RiffTrax Shorts

Welcome to a black and white nightmare of typing, filing, dictation, and interpersonal skills. This short film graphically depicts the harrowing journey of Miss Hayes, fresh out of secretarial school and in her first job working for a real estate broker. Miss Hayes thought she was prepared... then the unimaginable happens.

The fine folks at The American Dairy Association have teamed up with the President's Council On Physical Fitness to let you know that Girls Are Better Than Ever! But they do have a few recommendations: Some girls need to eat more cheese and play tennis, others should eat less of everything and ride a bike. Some girls would do best to not exist at all or at the very least go bowling.

The garbage-fusing enthusiasts at ACI didn't waste all their grant money and this is the unfortunate result. Now kids can learn to cross the street from the same folks who used monkeys to teach us "doing words." Featuring a song that is the most nutless piece of arrhythmic garbage since The Calendar and How to Use It, Safety As We Play is another hallowed entry in ACI's Pantheon of Crap.

The American Dental Association advises all Americans to Flash That Smile. They are confident that by doing so you will reach your goals, touch the sky and be a star! Be advised that it is VERY helpful to be a super foxy blonde with a rockin' bod. If that is not available try at the very least to be a fly B-Boy with fresh moves.

Nobody Tells Me What To Do! is a film about peer pressure felt and applied, surrendered to, and defeated. A tale of triumph not to be missed. The story focuses on Zach, a quitter who quits everything but whose charm and charisma holds sway over an entire sophomore class and Gary, the hard working everyman who wears his baseball uniform to school.

Probably the sweetest installment in the beloved garbage-crafting series from ACI Films, At Your Fingertips: Sugar and Spice is like the dreams you have after you eat a bunch of expired marshmallow Peeps and browse a bootleg Ukrainian version of Pinterest right before bed. Originally broadcast as part of RiffTrax Live: Santa Claus.