The Patty Duke Show

Patty promises to show a friend's visiting cousin, Gregory, around. She's pleasantly surprised to find he's top student and athlete of good military academy....and handsome in his uniform. Patty's boyfriend Richard tries to compete, fails, retires bitter and jealous. Not knowing how to cope, he asks Patty's father's advice.

Patty decides to become a famous tuba virtuoso. At first, the family thinks it's great that she's taking an interest in fine music. Patty throws herself into practicing tuba with a vengeance. She forgets about Richard, Rock and Roll and everything but the tuba. She's so conscientious, she's driving everyone crazy with her horn.

Unknown to anyone at school, Patty's writing a column in the school paper - It's called "Simon Says..." In it, Patty gives advice to the boys and girls on questions concerning their social lives. Inexperienced as she is, Patty usually advises the wrong things...and everybody's mad at "Simon Says..." - though none know who "Simon" is.

Patty, her look-alike cousin Cathy and kid-brother Ross form a union the U.A.O.U.M.- United Association of Unprotected Minors. They go into negotiations with Father and Mother, to get more freedom to do what they want , to get bigger allowances and more time at the TV set. Martin and Natalie agree - but, in turn, demand the kids take on more chores.

Patty informs her family that she's taking up a challenge to live like a pioneer for a week. As the week of attrition wears on, the family has to remind her that pioneer women don't use hair-driers, electricity, TV, ready-made hot water and other civilized impediments.

The Lane household becomes a battlefield when Patty and Cathy compete for the attention of the young man who has moved in next door. The girls prove that all's fair in love and war, when Cathy outmaneuvers Patty.

Patty and Cousin Cathy go into politics...T.J. Blodgett, a friend of Patty's father, is running for Congress and the girls are determine to see that he wins. In the interest of carrying on a successful Blodgett campaign, they make a careful study of their candidate, his opponent and the issues - and discover they'd rather see the other man in Congress instead of Blodgett.

Patty Lane discovers the strength of applied psychology and uses it to get her boyfriend's and parent's consent to attend a Harvard prom with a comparative stranger. However, she soon discovers that psychology can be two-edged sword, when her father figures out her "m.o." and gives her a taste of her own medicine.

Patty prepares herself for the Peace Corps by studying Swahili and learning all about African customs, while trying to figure out away of telling her folks about her upcoming trip.

It's love at first sight when Cathy sees new student Christopher Hubbard at the Literary Club. Patty decides to help cousin Cathy get her man by teaching her some womanly tricks. However, they are unaware that Richard is advising Christopher on the man's role. It isn't long before Cathy and Jeffrey are hopelessly confused by their lessons in romance.

Football hero Rock Malenkovitch's team falls madly in love with Cathy, who couldn't care less. Rock's football prowess begins to deteriorate because of Cathy's lack of interest, Cathy is pressured by Patty, Richard and the head of the school alumni to pay Rock some attention to the mooning lad.

As President of Patty Lane, Inc., she sells stock in her company to friends and relations and starts producing apricot jam labeled "Mother Patty's Preserves." When she tries to fill the orders for her merchandise, Patty discovers that Big Business has many pitfalls.

Patty invites her father to a Father-Daughter dance. Surprised and pleased, he quickly accepts. Then - at the very last moment, his boss orders him to attend a Newspaper Guild meeting in Chicago.

Patty's father suggests Patty would be happier and more successful if she started thinking positively instead of spending her time evading chores and school work. Patty consents to give it a try and volunteers to help around the house and handle all the difficult projects at school. However, father and the entire family soon find themselves involved in all the work Patty has volunteered to do.

Patty and her arch enemy Sue Ellen clash in a head-on battle for the attentions of Woodrow Warren Caldwell the Third, a new classmate and handsome member of the social set. Vying for Woody's attention, the girls become eager-beaver assistants in his mother's charity Thrift Shop.

Patty believes a driver involved in an accident was a gangster. However, when she discovers the driver of the car was the supermarket owner's son-in-law rushing to get his pregnant wife to the hospital she decides to tell the police. What she doesn't know is at the time of the accident a man who was almost hit by the car - and whom only she can identify - just robbed the local bank.

Patty Lane mistakenly believes her parents are trying to marry her off, when they invite a young professor, David Stone to dinner. Actually, David is in love with the Lanes' niece, Ann, one of his students at college. Patty, trying to make David lose interest, paints such a horrid picture of family life with the Lanes, that he decides to marry Ann immediately just to get her out of the family.

Betsy Lane, teen-age daughter of distant cousins from Chattanooga, invades the Lane home for a two week vacation. Betsy is exactly like her look-alike cousins, except for her extremely platinum blonde hair and the honeysuckle and magnolia's that drip from her every word. In no time at all, Betsy - to Patty and Cathy's dismay - captivates all the eligible young men in town.

Sal Mineo, on a return visit to his alma mater, meets, befriends and completely overwhelms Patty Lane. Sal consents to star in a revue for the school and asks Patty to co-star. Patty, of course, says yes, but the principal makes it an open competition. In audition, Patty wins the role. But what Patty has forgotten is that appearing on stage before a real live audience leaves her speechless.

Patty Lane plans to raise money for a church bazaar by raffling off her boyfriend Richard. Richard balks until he discovers that he will have dinner with the winner at the Starlight Room and then go to a show. Then...Patty's idea backfires...she learns that her arch-enemy, Gloria has bought twenty tickets!

Martin Lane thinks he is being eased out of his job as managing editor when the publisher assigns his nephew, George Reynolds as his executive assistant. Disillusioned and hurt, Lane signs a contract with a rival newspaper. However, when Patty confronts George with the situation she discovers that he is there only to make it possible for Martin to go off on a much needed vacation.

The Lanes decide that Ross is too old for a surprise birthday party this year so they commission Patty to take him to see a horror movie instead. However, the family is unaware that Ross is expecting his usual surprise birthday party and has invited all of his friends.

Patty hears two young Britishers, Nigel and Patrick singing on the Brooklyn Heights High School FM station. She thinks they're the wildest! She's so impressed that she sets about to make them successful. However, despite all her efforts, Patty can't interest a recording company in the duo. But, just as all hope seems gone, Patty finds a way to put them "on recording" by recording them.

The Lane's discover their house in Brooklyn Heights is a historical landmark. When the Lanes learn that their home was built by one of the first families to settle the area, they sign a petition to have the house declared a historic site -- it's then made clear to them that if this happens, they will have to move out.