The Abbott and Costello Show

With Bud and Lou eight weeks behind on rent and facing eviction, Mr. Fields sends them to work in his brother's drug store. Unfortunately, Lou can't cut it as a soda jerk and ends up wrecking the place.

Lou has a terrible toothache, so Bud takes him to the dentist where Hillary works as a nurse. When the dentist fails to help, Bud schemes to get Lou arrested in order to receive free treatment in jail.

Lou shoots a hole in Mrs. Crumbcake's water pail, and she sues him for 79 cents in damages. While in jail, he comes to blows with a crazed cell mate, who becomes enraged at the mere mention of "Niagara Falls."

Bud and Lou plan to vacation at the Biltmore Hotel near Phoenix, and stock up at Sporty Fields' sporting goods store. But as Lou packs, Bud worries that Mr. Fields will rent their apartment out from under them while they're gone.

Lou throws himself a birthday party, but mistakes ant paste for antipasto and makes all of his guests ill. After Bud throws him out of their apartment, Lou consoles himself by ordering a giant cake at Mr. Bacciagalupe's bakery.

Lou receives word that his uncle has struck gold in Alaska, and the boys plan to join him. But they are delayed by a bank robbery, and then literally get stuck when Lou accidentally adds quick-drying cement to Bud's foot bath. (Bud sports a mustache for the first time in this episode.)

Bud and Lou visit the employment agency run by Mr. Fields' brother, and Lou lands a job selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door. His demonstration skills are then put to the test at a farmhouse with disastrous results.

Bud and Lou join the Army National Guard. While at basic training, they have physicals, shoot dice in the barracks, and go through drill practice.

Lou tries his hand at selling aluminum cookware door-to-door. When he volunteers to cook a demonstration duck dinner for the neighbors at Mr. Fields' apartment, culinary mayhem ensues.

The boys help out selling tickets for Hillary's charity bazaar. Lou blows all his money at the kissing booth, and Bud tries raising some funds with the old shell game.

Bud and Lou accept Hillary's invitation to visit her at her uncle's "B-Bar-Bop Ranch" near the Mexican border. There, they join a posse tracking down cattle rustlers, and Lou tangles with the leader of the gang in a western saloon.

Bud and Lou accompany Hillary to the haunted castle of her deceased uncle, Montague Brooke. According to his will, if she can spend the entire night there, she'll inherit the estate and all its treasures.

Lou is suffering from a terrible bout of insomnia, so Bud takes him to see a psychiatrist, who prescribes "Dr. Drowsy's Sleep-Inducing Record." When that doesn't work, Bud checks Lou into a sanitarium for a good night's rest.

Bud and Lou visit a couple of restaurants in search of a satisfying meal and encounter trouble with Mr. Bacciagalupe's meatballs, twin waitresses and a very fresh oyster.

Hillary's father is visiting from the country and expresses his desire for her to marry a man with musical talent. Lou takes a disastrous class at Professor Melonhead's Singing School, and then Bud concocts a scheme to make Costello look like a piano virtuoso.

Bud schemes to take a photograph of Mr. Fields beating up Lou so the boys can sue the landlord. After a councilman gets Lou out of trouble, Bud decides Costello should run for public office. He delivers a speech in the park that causes a disruption when he gives away his shoes, coat, shirt, tie and pants to needy young women in the crowd.

Lou and Stinky agree to settle their differences in a wrestling match for the policemen's benefit. Before the match, Bud comes up with a plan to get a free meal by borrowing Mike the Cop's uniform. Later, when Stinky falls ill, Lou is forced to wrestle his kid brother, Ivan the Terrible.

Bud finds work loafing in a bakery and insists that Lou also get a job. Lou runs into problems delivering a box of hats to the Susquehanna Hat Company. Later, the boys pay a visit to Mr. Fields' Employment Agency.

Lou decides to bring Bingo the Chimp home from the pet shop and causes confusion at City Hall when he accidentally applies for a marriage license. Then, at the rooming house, the boys attempt to hide Bingo from Mr. Fields.

Mr. Fields posts new house rules just as the boys plan a surprise party for Hillary. Lou causes trouble at the supermarket. Later, at Bud's insistence, Lou infuriates Mr. Fields by playing loud music during the party.

Bud and Lou become contestants on the TV game show "Hold That Cuckoo" and win a pack of bubblegum. Later, their drunk neighbor, John Rednose, slips on the gum outside the rooming house and hauls Mr. Fields to court.

The boys have won an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas and decide to take Hillary along. But first they have to buy a used car from Friendly Fields' Used Car Lot. Later, in Vegas, Lou loses all his money and plays a violent game of billiards.

The boys attempt to help an old lady who has been dispossessed. They win $300 playing amusement park midway games, but the old lady uses the money to place a bet with her bookie.

Mr. Bacciagalupe asks Lou to watch his ice cream stand. Later, while the boys are selling newspapers, a philanthropist gives them two five hundred dollar bills. Assuming they are fake, Bud tears up the money. When he learns the money was real, he loses is mind and gets hauled off to the Retired Actor's Home.