RiffTrax Shorts

It's the 70s! The pants are flared, the disco is thumping, and the educational shorts are meandering and pointless! In Someday we meet four children who discuss their plans for the future. Lower your expectations to more of a "Someday I want to watch daddy pump gas" level and enjoy this short featuring shopping for vegetables, carrying a wild chimp, and sailing alone on San Francisco bay.

Bernard is struggling in math class. After multiple failed attempts of trying nothing, Bernard turns to his friend David to teach him basic math -- and his grade goes up! The victory is short-lived when his math teacher demands no more outside assistance. Bernard comes to a moral crossroads. What Will Bernard Do? Watch the epic classroom journey with Bridget and Mary Jo!

As you would expect this involves tiny creatures terrorizing a small animated boy. Bunnies, a witch, and Father Time burst out of a calendar and wreak havoc, 1930s style. This mostly involves peeling eggs and singing while a kangaroo gets hammered. At one point in time there is a conveyor belt of babies. The festival's permit was rightfully denied the next year.

Scrooge, the ruthless financier, is not exploiting tax loopholes and favorable loan rates. No, he's stuffing cash into a mattress. Sure, he's missing out on valuable interest but on the other hand: Money Bed! The Spirit of Banking shows up to show Scrooge the error of his ways. By the end of the night he may be marginally wealthier. And that's really what Christmas is all about.

When he's not being forced to perform bizarre tasks for a mysterious team of squirrel scientists, Squeak spends his time eating, binge-eating, smashing his head against solid objects, and eating. You may not think of these as impressive feats now, but you will come to truly believe in the astonishing brilliance of Squeak the Squirrel. Join Bridget and Mary Jo on their nuttiest short yet!

The Kids Guide to the Internet is an amazing snapshot of Online in the mid-90s, back when the Internet was something you still had to convince your parents to "get." It was a simpler time, when every webring was Under Construction and your mom always seemed to pick up the phone and knock you offline. Hop online with RiffTrax Senior Writers Conor Lastowka and Sean Thomason.

Every kid hates it when their parents ruin fun by telling them to wear a bike helmet and follow the rules. It's been a problem throughout history. But then along came the 90s, with a great 90s solution: have a lame gym coach rap the rules at them instead! Join Conor and Sean and the bike helmet safety regulation commissions as they exorcise bike demons in Bicycle Safety Camp!

It's a classic 60s informational short about improving your home, which means it's really a secret commercial for something. In this case? A line of gardening tools! Rake, hoe, dig, but most importantly, buy buy buy, it's fun to be a consumer who consumes! No gardening tools required to join Mike, Kevin and Bill for A Green Thumb for Macaulay!